I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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