Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
