I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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