Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize