Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
