I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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