I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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