I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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