I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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