what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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