in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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