Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
