Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize