i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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