But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
