whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
