When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
