Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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