Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
