Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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