she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
