are you still at the devil's house?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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