Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
