just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
