I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
