we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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