I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
