remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
