I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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