8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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