Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
