i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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