i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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