First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
