So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
