Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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