carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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