I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
