My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
