Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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