If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
