Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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