i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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