I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
