Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
