We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
