Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
