Already got asked if we're dating
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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