someone owes me an orgasm
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
