Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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