Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
