Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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