We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
