why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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