I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle