If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it