Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
