Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
