i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
