U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
