I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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