I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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