Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
