Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
