She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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