Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
