I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
