Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
