My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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