glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you never un-have a 4some
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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