is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize