Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
