I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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